lament XIV

There is no trust without doubt
For who can trust perfectly?
No one.
Imperfect I am made,
And impure thoughts that abound
That tell me I'm perfect,
But when I ask "why" ,
That's where imperfection sounds.
My faith is not perfect.
If it were, I would not be here
But the faith and trust in me
Is my responsibilty to grow.
God, my father, does not call me to perfect trust and faith.
My father calls me to hope and believe
This I know:
Perfect trust and faith is believing in God
Because you have doubts.
Only God will carry you through.
I trust you Oh Lord in my eternal security
And in my each and every breath.
But I perfectly trust you
When I seek out your will
And I step out in faith.
For I doubt Oh Lord...
I doubt.
Then my trust and faith shall be like Mt Zion.
I cannot turn back to the power and rule of the wicked.
Their Sceptor will crush me and I will be turned over to wrath.
My hands will do their work.
To stand, Oh God, in you
Is to step from my old self
And rise in You.
To stay there, established and firm.
Then my faith and trust will grow
With each experience,
And continual growth in your knowledge.
Oh God, Keep me from returning to evil.
Keep me in your holiness.
Amen.