Monday, August 10, 2009

A Prayer of a fallen warrior

Darkness says that she is my bride
and for everyone's sake
my thoughts should be suicide.
Oh can you hear her, the noctural mother
Oh God she's all I hear
And with pride I am smothered.
She screams and says "I" more is better
My eyes turn red
My ears now bleed; is there a cure?

Father,
Myself I want no more
Father,
With all these laments my fingertips are gettings soar.

All of my words - through actions or voice
I am ashamed for I know to you they are just noise.

Sporadic thoughts
are they what you want?
Alas they are not
for what you want is my heart.
I am afraid I will never know
who you are in my life
because I seem to embrace
darkness as my wife.
Alas, even when I seek
when is it okay
For you to finally say
I will reveal myself today?

You are the one I call Father
but do you call me son?
And that I do not know
For salvation cannot be undone.

So may I start today
to seek with my whole heart
so I can fully know
if our relationship will start

Yet, if I was never called
I could live no other way
For I will be fair unto myself
and let have damnation have its day.

Forgive me father for I have sinned
I know I'm needing mercy
Help me father every day
to turn my eyes from self unto thee.

Forgive me
Amen.

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