The Morning Star

The Sun that has too soon set
Makes my eyes yeild to darkness.
My eyes that are governed by tyrrany
Make that darkness live within me.
Jesus Christ is my morning star
Yet is not the same for the name Lucifer?

Are my stars that shine only fake through time
As the source burnt out long ago?
Am I holding to riddles and emotional candles
As I die because it's all I know?
I have nothing left but inaneness of breath
That screams 'praxis ideology'.
Yet my self kills my self till I have no self
And what remains is pure idolatry.

Sin is sin is sin, as I sit in front of my vanity.
To apply, to curl, to brush, this is sin in practicallity.
... this is me so tired of it all

The morning star awakens well before dawn
As dawn is the train of its robe.
For it is 2 in the morning when we see it's glory
Breaking in on the depth of the darkness.
My darkness has awoken with only hopes broken
Oh setting sun won't you please arise?
Be more than my fiction or hopeless addictions
Be a light that I cannot disguise.

But this I know:
That you are more certain,
guaranteed to be a light shining in the dark place
until the day dawns and you, as the morning star, arise in our heart.
2 Peter 1:19

A Prayer of a fallen warrior

Darkness says that she is my bride
and for everyone's sake
my thoughts should be suicide.
Oh can you hear her, the noctural mother
Oh God she's all I hear
And with pride I am smothered.
She screams and says "I" more is better
My eyes turn red
My ears now bleed; is there a cure?

Father,
Myself I want no more
Father,
With all these laments my fingertips are gettings soar.

All of my words - through actions or voice
I am ashamed for I know to you they are just noise.

Sporadic thoughts
are they what you want?
Alas they are not
for what you want is my heart.
I am afraid I will never know
who you are in my life
because I seem to embrace
darkness as my wife.
Alas, even when I seek
when is it okay
For you to finally say
I will reveal myself today?

You are the one I call Father
but do you call me son?
And that I do not know
For salvation cannot be undone.

So may I start today
to seek with my whole heart
so I can fully know
if our relationship will start

Yet, if I was never called
I could live no other way
For I will be fair unto myself
and let have damnation have its day.

Forgive me father for I have sinned
I know I'm needing mercy
Help me father every day
to turn my eyes from self unto thee.

Forgive me
Amen.